Cold Comfort
by misfit320
Summary: In the hours before the suicide mission, Miranda can find comfort only in the arms of a faithful John Shepard. T just to be safe.


I know in the game it only takes 2 hours to get to the Omega 4 Relay, but I used some creative license for my own purposes.

This is the first in a long series I'm working on, called Road to Babylon, so please check out the rest (one they're done and posted) for more. All reviews and critiques are welcome!

I own nothing in this story, save the idea.

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><p><span>Cold Comfort<span>

Miranda stood silently in Commander Shepard's quarters. She hadn't been in the room since the Normandy 2 had been built, and she had to admit that she was a bit jealous. The room was twice the size of her quarters, and much more lavish. The office area was separated by the living area by a glass wall through half of the room. She stood in the doorway to the living area, looking over to the bed where her commanding officer slept.

Commander John Shepard had been her life's focus for the past two and a half years. She had been assigned to lead Project Lazarus to bring him back after he was killed by the Collectors, and then had been assigned to act as his Executive Officer on the new Normandy. During her time on the project, she had researched everything she could about him. Mission reports, biographies, service records… anything she could find on him, she went over and committed to memory. But the official records had only ever told part of the story. It wasn't until he was revived that she started to understand his ability to take complete strangers and get them to follow him. It wasn't his service record, as impressive as it was. It was _him._ He had a magnetism that drew everyone to him, gained their trust, and ultimately, their complete loyalty.

And in cases like Miranda's, it made some people wish for more. She had already offered herself to him, and had been surprised when he turned her down. She had been humiliated, but he had been quick to tell her of his relationship with Operations Chief Ashley Williams, from the crew of the original Normandy, and how much she meant to him. She quickly understood, though she would never be able to tell anyone how much the genetically perfect woman envied the simple marine and how she brought a light to Shepard's eyes, but his faithfulness made her respect him even more.

And yet, she found himself in his quarters, staring at his sleeping form. They were six hours away from the Omega 4 relay and a likely suicide mission, and Shepard had ordered everyone to try to get some sleep, as they were undoubtedly going into the worst fight that any of them had experienced. She agreed with his assessment, and had quietly slipped him a small sleeping solution to make sure he got five hours worth of rest. She knew the exact dosage to give him, as she had knowledge of all of the enhancements that Cerberus had made when they brought him back.

After she had made sure Shepard had taken the solution and left for his quarters, she had gone to hers, but she found she was unable to rest. Three months ago, she wouldn't have had any qualms about going on a suicide mission to help save the human race, but now… Shepard had helped her connect with her sister, Oriana, and showed her all the possibilities open to her in the galaxy. She found that she was now scared of what she might lose. She couldn't push this fear to the side and ignore it, it held her in its icy grip, and left her shivering, no matter how many blankets or sheets she piled onto her bed.

Eventually, she had found herself here. She needed someone, and not just anyone. She needed Shepard. She had no delusions of a last minute seduction, or even a reassuring conversation with the man she had come to regard as a dear friend. She needed comfort, to feel that everything was going to be all right at the end of the mission. She needed to feel safe, if only for a little while, and could think of only one place where she could find it.

She saw he was sleeping on his right side, facing the aquarium, which cast an ethereal blue and indigo light over him. She could see the slight frown he wore while sleeping, no doubt a reflection of the pressure he put on himself. She slowly made her way over to the bed, and quietly pulled back the sheet. She slid under the covers, and pushed her back up against Shepard's chest. She felt his arms automatically snake around her, holding her to him. She wasn't concerned he would wake up as she had measured the dosage precisely to afford him the five hours of sleep. She would be long gone by the time he awoke, and he would be none the wiser.

She relaxed slightly, finding the feeling of being in his arms more soothing than she could have imagined. She felt him shift behind her, and his breathing changed. His head was now right behind hers, with his mouth inches from her ear.

"Ash?" The almost inaudible whisper froze her to the core. There would be no way she could explain her presence here, in his room, in his bed, in his arms. For a moment, she didn't move or breathe. She realized that he had only partially woken, the name he spoke probably just what his subconscious was dreaming about, but a lack of response might waken him further.

In all of her missions and assignments, she had learned to easily push aside her distinct Australian accent. She was hoping that he wouldn't be able to tell who he was actually speaking to. "Yes, it's me," she quietly whispered back to him.

"Ash… I'm sorry… for everything…"

Her heart nearly broke. The savior of humanity had nothing to apologize for, ever. "I know, and it's ok. Go to sleep."

She felt him settle further back into the pillows, drifting off deeper into sleep. She relaxed a little.

"I love you, Ash."

Unable to contain them anymore, Miranda felt her tears start to run down her face. Unchecked, they spilled onto the pillow beneath her head.

"I love you too, John."

She laid there in the artificial twilight, silently sobbing, the only comfort she found that night coming from the knowledge that no one would ever know.


End file.
